Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Women, really what is the hang up that we have with cooking? Men really want to know why some of us fuss over it. Let us not forget that there are also alot of women who actually love to cook and would do it three times a day. I grew up in a house where my mother cooked a fresh hot meal three times a day. We hardly ever ate a cold breakfast. But here is the catch, she did not work. My father was the sole provider of the house. Furthermore, she had people around to help her.

I Will Not Cook reader, Jonathan comments:

Interesting topic. I've always wanted to ask African Women about this cooking hangup that some of them have, so I look forward to reading their points of view.
First let me premise my position by saying I have always looked at a woman cooking for me as an extension and expression of her love (My Mom, Shirley from across the street who made me those slamming Lasagna or my sister Joyce throwing down on Thanksgiving).
I also look at it the same way when Shirley asked me to accompany her on a 2hr ride to Brooklyn on what I thought was the coldest day ever (at least in recent history)or traveling all the way to University of Uyo(during rainy season) to visit my sister when she was a Professor there.
We give, we share, we sacrifice that's what to me makes a relationship work. So if your not going to cook what are your expectations of me? Or will you not have any? Hmmmmmm

Thanks for you feedback and question Jonathan. I also invite my female readers to comment on his thoughts as well. The point of this blog is to get as many viewpoints from both men and women.


There are so many points that you bring up here so I will tackle them one at a time, and maybe I will do it over a few blogs.

You say that you look at a woman cooking for you as an "extension of her love". Let me back up for a minute. In todays society, women are on the grind. They are wives, mothers, workers, business owners, students, etc. For me, there is something about having to think about what to cook for someone every blessed day.

It is one thing if I am a stay home wife and all I have to manage are the affairs of the household. That means, you, the man works and brings home the bacon. You the man are responsible for all "our" bills and all "our" needs. You take care of our family, both the immediate and extended. You are the provider. Okay, if you come at a woman like that then you should absolutely demand that she fall into her traditional role as a wife. Now women look at being a housewife as a walk in the park or as a low level position. I do not feel that way at all. This is a topic that I will address fully in the future.

News flash!! I really do not know that many men who do not need their wives income to survive. In some cases their wives income may be the only source of income coming in. So if I the woman is helping you with your slack, just keeping it real here fellas--lets call a spade a spade, then why can't you help me around the house and help me with the cooking. The minute you allow a woman to work and contribute to the finances and running of the home, you in essence have given up the right to ask her to "organise you a meal" on a daily basis.

So why do not you help her? She helps you in your role as the provider, you help her in her role as the manager of househaold affairs. Now are there some women out there that are suoerwoman and do not need the help of a man? I am sure. But even if you are with that kind of woman, a little help goes a long way.

I also have to make this point, some men say, ,"Oh she must cook for me, she must clean for me, she must do this and do that". But if I a woman comes to the man and I say, "Where the cash at? You must buy me this and buy me that. I want a new car and a big house. How about an upgrade on my ring?" I am a golddigger, big money spender. I am not supportive and understanding.

1 comment:

  1. In today’s society, women are on the grind. They are wives, mothers, workers, business owners, students, etc. For me, there is something about having to think about what to cook for someone every blessed day.
    Whao! Newsflash! Everyone is on the grind not just women! Why is he your man if thinking about what to do to make him happy is a chore? You effortlessly juggle your work schedule, maybe you are the top performer at work and maybe you’re even bringing home major cheddar but thinking about your man's happiness is like lifting a ton of bricks! I don't know, but I think you should have told guy to save his ring that you were already married-to your job.

    Your next response:

    Again I think you are missing the point on this whole issue. Whether a woman cooks for me or not I'm still going to eat. There are hundreds of restaurants that I can stop at and have a nice dinner served to me by a smiling appreciative tight body 21years old so don't get it twisted your not doing me a favor.

    Your Next comment:
    Women looking at being a housewife as being low level position.
    So because you got edumacation the nurturing, loving, caring side of you doesn’t work anymore. Heels over apron! But ask yourself is it working? Are our relationships actually better off with all this stuff? If you ask me a successful home need both.
    My Mom was a housewife, worked as a nurse in New York, received her PHD from College of New Rochelle, raised six kids and had 2 clinics in Nigeria. So, sorry I can’t buy it. You can love your family and still be successful in your career. Life is not easy and its not meant to be, so stop making excuses as to why you can't give of yourself to your family but you can do it for 8-12 hours for the outside world.


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